The Bullying begins...

The school year is underway. Students are starting to settle into their routine, and parents are relieved to have their days filled and nights with homework again. But along with the school hours come the angst of middle school. Our school was not even through the first week before the bullying, backstabbing, and bickering began. As parents it can be very difficult to watch your child go to school every day knowing they are facing a bully at school. So, it is time to define bullying behavior and how parents can help at home.

The Bullying word is the new hot topic. Anytime a student uses the Bullying word, all the teachers make a big fuss. However, most of the behaviors happening in the schools do not meet the criteria for Bullying. Bullying Behavior must meet the following three criteria:

1. Behavior must be intended to cause harm (physical or emotional)

2. Behavior must be repetitive

3. Behavior must create a power position between the two parties, or the behavior gives the bully power over the victim.

If the behavior does not meet all of these criteria, then the behavior does not qualify as bullying. Now hold on, I know that I have a lot of people screaming at their computer screens that I seriously do not know what I am talking about. But, let me finish! The behavior may not be bullying, but that does not make it right. It is still hurtful, disruptive and needs to be addressed with the student. For instance, one of the students who came to me discussed behavior that we clearly not repetitive, but we still addressed the behaviors with that student and warned them about what consequences would happen if the behaviors continued. These behaviors need to be and should be addressed as quickly as possible to prevent those behaviors from becoming bullying behaviors.

Parents, there are a lot of great resources all over the internet to help your student with bullying. Here is an article that is a great place to start.

http://www.education.com/reference/article/Ref_What_Do_About/

The thing I personally like about this particular article is the discussion about making the school your ally. The reality is that your child is at school eight hours a day. Our teachers spend more waking hours with our students than we do. (Some parents may be thankful for that, others may be crying) So, creating a positive working relationship with your child's school is so imperative to helping your student find success at school. Teach your child how to reach out and ask for help at school and who to reach out to. Getting help before the problem gets too big is better than not getting help and getting lost to a bully.